16 posts tagged “politics”

Pride

Not a day passes by when I'm not proud of my children.  They amaze me in so many ways that no explanation I could offer could be understood adequately.  But over the last few days, I have, more than ever before, been filled with so much pride and love for my firstborn child that sometimes, all I can do is cry tears of joy.  Petunia has always been the single most empathetic, kind person I have ever known.  She is filled with such patience and such love that I don't know how her head and heart contains these things.  I fear that she will end up a pediatrician with nine children of her own because she is especially so very good to her brother Dash.  I also fear that because she wears her heart on her sleeve, it will be trampled.  It will be a challenge to teach her to love with some limits -- as in, that boy who tells you "you suck" is not worth your tears.  I will have many years to teach her strength, though.  It is a blessing that I will not have to teach her fundamental kindness.  I will not have to teach her what good citizenship means.  I will not have to teach her fairness, and equality, and the difference between right and wrong because she gets it already.

Last night, when Barack Obama was elected President, Petunia's eyes were glued to the TV screen.  She got a little hung up on the "Wait... they get a new puppy because they're moving into the White House?!" thing (because she -- and I -- and Dash -- want a dog so badly)... But she got past that in time to hear President-elect Obama's tribute to a woman named Anne who lived through a time when neither woman nor blacks could vote.  She heard his references to Dr. Martin Luther King, and she understood those references because we've studied MLK together.  And at the end of the speech, Petunia turned to me and commented, "Can you believe that in Grammy's time, they would've made Obama sit in the back of the bus?"

Petunia is living proof that one can teach your kids how to think about the world instead of what to think -- and the kids will make the right connections anyway.

While my heart burst with pride for Petunia's excitement over demonstrating for No on 8 earlier in the day, that excitement lessened this morning with Prop 8's passage; it will now be in the California constitution that marriage is exclusively for men and women.  When Petunia asked me what this means for her friend's same-sex parents, I had to tell her that, in the eyes of the state of California, they probably were no longer married.  She asked if they were still married in God's eyes; I told her that only God could answer that. 

Her response was: "Well, Mama, I kept my sign, and I guess I'll have to carry it some more then."  She understands already that when you really believe in something, it might not come to pass without a lot of hard work.  She is willing to do that work, and I will be honored to have her at my side while we carry signs and work toward marriage equality for all.  (And, as I noted to friends earlier, I am confident that we will carry those signs for as long as it takes; we will not let you down.)

*****

Prejudice

On a personal note, I am a former member of the Af-Lat-Am society at my boarding school, though I am neither black nor Latina.  I joined Af-Lat-Am because when I showed up at my elite boarding school, the rich white kids from Greenwich wanted nothing to do with a poor (compared to them) kid from rural West Virginia.  The kids from the Bronx, and Queens, and North Carolina, and Tennessee?  The kids that didn't look like me at all?  They befriended me, and they supported me, and they are the reason that I acclimated to and graduated from one of the very best schools in the world.  I did not vote for Obama because he was black.  I voted for Obama for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was his understanding that poverty comes in many forms, and that hope is not owned only by the most privileged in our society. 

It is not lost on me, though, that my native West Virginia -- a traditionally blue state -- voted for McCain.  I felt it coming -- it is a predominately white state, and, having grown up there, I know that prejudice not only exists but thrives there.  But even though I saw the Red vote coming, it hit me like a train, and I cried for my former home like a lost friend.  I know that a host of my kin voted for McCain, and I pray that it's because they felt he would lead best -- and not because he wasn't black.  I'll never know for sure, but I'll suspect forever (well, actually, I won't suspect my kin, but I will suspect a lot of my childhood "friends").  At the end of the day, the joke's on them (except it's not a joke to me, but justice): they now have a black President for at least four years.  But that part of the victory is not sweet to me -- it's a rather bitter pill to swallow.  There is a lot of prejudice in this world still, and it should not have a home in any one of our fifty states, no matter how black or white, gay or straight.  I hope my children live to see less unkindness that I have -- and that if they do see it, they don't become as jaded as me.  I'll work on becoming less so over the next four years -- because, after all, I do believe that Hope applies to me, and to us all.

Pnoon8

I took my kids to Town & Country Village in Palo Alto today to hold up "No on 8" signs.  We stood among friends, and the response truly amazed me.

Unsurprisingly, almost every singe Prius honked in support.  My parents (Prius owners) are in a cool club.

The diversity of people who honked, cheered and waved in support shocked me.  A cement mixer driver, a public bus driver, the UPS man, a carload of Mexican painters... They all honked, waved and threw up peace signs.

The resilience of my children, who seemed to understand that they were part of something bigger than themselves, made me so proud.  Petunia sharing a sign with her friend, the daughter of a same-sex couple, especially brought me near tears.  We've talked a lot about how Prop 8 passing might affect this friend and her family, and Petunia has been outraged.  Kids are so innocent that their outrage seems so moral.  Adults could learn a lot from spending five minutes with my eloquent 8 year old, who can tell you exactly why she finds Prop 8 offensive: because all people in this great country should be treated equally... Because my friend deserves to have married parents like I do... Because loving each other "without rules" is the right way to love each other... Because it's what's fair... Because God says to love our neighbors as ourselves.  Those are all HER words, not mine.  Petunia, she is a wise, wise child

She was also right not to take on the elderly lady who pulled up as we were preparing to leave, saying she voted Yes on 8 and suggesting that marriage is only for men and women.  When Petunia asked her why, she said "because marriage is necessary for procreation."  Our friend David came back at her with, "That's not how my wife says babies are made!"  It was funny, and it's so true.  Not only for same-sex couples but also for all the single moms (by choice or not) out there, I wanted to tell this lady to stuff it -- but I didn't.  On the way home, I told Petunia "that's what makes our country so great -- everyone can have their own opinion.  But that's also why we held up signs.  Someone will go to the polls and remember your smiling face, and see a group of friends standing up for something we believe in, and they might not have decided how to vote on 8 yet.  And they might just vote 'no' because they'll remember our group and our enthusiasm and our words: No on 8 because it is unfair and wrong."

"But what if they don't, Mama?  What if they're all like that lady, and they vote Yes on 8 anyway?" Petunia asked.

"Petunia, there was a time when women couldn't vote.  There was a time when blacks and whites couldn't marry.  Times change," I suggested, whispering so that she couldn't hear, "at least, I hope they have."

Tomorrow, or soon thereafter, we'll know about Prop 8 once and for all.  The lesson my kids learned today about standing up for their beliefs will hopefully stay with them for their lifetime.  I didn't learn that until way too late, but, as we suggested to the lady in the car, it's never to late to change -- and today, that change began with my kids.  I am so very proud.

Prop_8

**UPDATE: Please click here to read our friend David Hornik's "no on 8" piece on Venture Blog.

Fundamentally, I am an honest person, so I'm going to actually put out there that I didn't always know what to make of gay rights issues.  Growing up near the Bible Belt, no one I knew was openly gay, so the issue was something I occasionally heard of as a Hollywood thing... Liberace, Elton John, etc.  Fortunately, my parents were hippies, and they taught us that bigotry toward anyone is fundamentally wrong.  So I didn't ever think people who were gay were somehow defective, despite what I think the majority of our neighbors and their churches believed.  That said, even after I attended "Diversity University," I thought: I don't really care if people or gay or straight, but for them to have children... won't that mess up the kid?  Won't the kid have to endure endless hours of teasing (because they sure would've had they grown up where I grew up)?  Won't the kid suffer?

And then two things happened that changed my mind -- or, as my graduate school professors would say, "liberalized my thinking" -- on the issue of gay rights overall, and on the issue of gay adoption especially.

First, I had my own child, and I realized how very lucky the Guv and I were to be able to have a child at all.  We had friends who had been trying to conceive for years, and ours came quickly and in a perfect, easy little package.  Sure, she was hard work but the joys -- oh, the joys! -- I can't imagine denying anyone that happiness. Would I have loved her any less if I had her as a single parent?  Would I have loved her any less if she came not from my body but from someone else's?  I can't definitively answer those questions, of course, but I feel like Petunia (and, later, Dash) was born as much from my heart as from my body.  She, and Dash, rounded out my life.  As much as they are the most demanding bosses I'll ever have, I can't remember my life before them, and I don't think I want to, for they have made my life great and complete by their very existence.  Parents reading this will understand exactly what I mean.

Secondly, when Petunia was 2, I began attending graduate school, and I met my friend Ron (not his real name).  Ron was one of the kindest, gentlest people I had ever met -- so thoughtful, so introspective, that just being around him gave me an inner peace.  I soon learned that Ron was gay; he had known he was gay his whole life, and his family accepted and supported him regardless (something another friend I met in graduate school did not have; her family kicked her out of their home and disowned her when she came out to them).  Before coming to our school, Ron was in a committed, long-term relationship with a partner.  They had made a life commitment to each other at a time when gay marriage wasn't even on the table as a possibility.  They had also reached the stage in their 30-something lives and relationship where they wanted to share the joy of raising children, and they began fostering kids.  After fostering a child for a couple of years, they wanted to adopt her and came to learn that in their state, they could not adopt her as a couple.  One dad could adopt her, but the other would have no rights.  Worse, the state could -- and would -- challenge the suitability of a gay home for the very same reasons I pondered for years: could a gay home be suitable for a child?

Now -- warning, this is where I get on my soapbox -- is there really anybody, anywhere in America that thinks that the foster care system is better for a child than adoption into a stable home?  In Ron's case, he and his partner had raised a child together for two years -- two years monitored, with no problems, with a supportive extended family around them -- and that child, in the span of a days, lost everything she had because she lived with two dads who loved her.  The story doesn't end well, either.  The girl was not a "perfect" child (she had some disabilities) and remained in foster care.  So Ron and his partner weren't even trying to adopt a child that other families sought (sadly).  I can't imagine how anyone "won" in that situation: not Ron and his partner, not the girl, and not the state and its overrun foster care system. 

The point of telling this long story is to say that I came around on this issue myself because I met someone whose grief I felt as a mother.  Had I enjoyed two years with Petunia before having her ripped out of my home, my heart would have been broken as Ron's was.  At that point, we weren't so different.  Even though his state never legitimized Ron as a parent, without question, he had been one, and he was living every parent's nightmare -- only his could never end.  He and his partner could never legally have children as a couple in his state.  I had my second within a year of our graduation.

*****

When it comes to Prop 8, which would eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California, I have some very strong feelings, brought about not only by knowing Ron but by my own marriage and parenthood.  The courts of California have accorded gays the right to marry.  The voters have California also have already voted in favor of gay marriage.  I'm not sure why the hell the issue is even on the ballot except for the technicality of some folks raising enough signatures to put the question on the ballot yet again -- ensuring that even if Prop 8 fails, the question will keep coming up unless and until the Supreme Court rules on it.  Needless to say, I will be voting "No" on Prop 8, because I believe that bigotry in any form is wrong, and, yes, I believe that denying gays marriage is bigotry.  Some, like our Presidential candidates (shame on both of them), have a problem with the use of the word "marriage."  After all, "it's a sacrament," someone told me, as if to say that sacraments are only for heterosexuals.   Even if someone's Biblical interpretation is that the sacrament of marriage is a hetero-only institution, there's the history problem -- as in, a lot of time has passed since Jesus walked the Earth.  The Bible also says things like women are subservient to men, and people can hold slaves, and men can beat their wives... No one believes in those things anymore!  Why is it such a stretch to believe that times have changed enough that the definition of marriage can expand?  And how does it really hurt anybody?  Arguing over its definition, to me, is very Bill Clinton-esque, like arguing over the definition of what "is" is... It's the theory, not the word.  And the theory is that people in our nation deserve fundamental equality.  My gay friends deserve the same civil protections and rights that I enjoy in marriage.  So call it marriage, call it whatever -- but call it fair.  Prop 8 needs to be voted down on November 4, once and for all.

Click here to see a Republican going where few others have dared set foot: the NBC studios. 

Katie Couric may have won Obama the election with her tough interviews of Sarah Palin -- but I have to say that it took big, huge brass balls for Palin to make this appearance on SNL.  While I continue to oppose Palin on most issues, I have a wee bit more respect for her today than I did yesterday.  Then again, she was acting -- I just hope that voters remember that this election is real, not as seen on SNL (but as seen on Katie Couric?  yes, yes, yes).

Please click here to check out my latest post on the Silicon Valley Moms Blog, called Failing Motor-Voter Registration.  Alan Keyes for President!

For those who missed it, click here.

My favorite "Biden" part is the rant on Scranton at around the 5:30 mark.  Have you ever been to Scranton?  The picture he paints sounds funny -- but it's gosh-darn accurate!

My favorite "Palin" part is the last "Maverick" she tossed in at the end, mostly because I'm pretty sure that some of my kin were playing that game. 

*****

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working with cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually, the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to to be a heartbeat away from being President.

The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain.

"You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, she doesn't know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumbass put her up there to begin with."

... I can't get over this moment from the VP debate, described on the liveblog of Megan McArdle at TheAtlantic.com:

9:08  Sarah Palin winks at the camera.  I didn't believe it the first time I saw it; thank god for TiVo.  I think all three million viewers are supposed to come up to her hotel room with a bottle of champagne after the debate.

*****

It was a real privilege to watch the debate with some friends from the Silicon Valley Moms Blog and Momocrats.  My "official" assessment is that I have some great friends.  My "unofficial" assessment of the debate is that Sarah Palin didn't screw up as much as I'd hoped.  Look, I never root against people, but she is my exception.  She is undereducated, inexperienced, misguided and unworthy of the second highest seat in our government.  I would think the same if she were a man with the same curriculum vitae.  It is an embarrassment to our country that she has been given a national platform because she has boobs and religion (don't raise your eyebrows -- you know it's true).  I respect John McCain's service to our country, but I question his judgment now more than ever. 

But that's as off-message as I'm going to get... I am so proud that Joe Biden is running for VP at Barack Obama's side.  HE deserves that platform.  HE is someone I trust to lead.  HE is someone who I believe offers straight-talk.  HE knows the difference between crossing the aisle to call himself a "maverick" and crossing the aisle because the American people expect bipartisanship.  I have NO qualms about him becoming President one day, God forbid that should be needed.  We must make sure that Sarah Palin never has that chance.

And might I just add that when Biden talked so much about fundamental differences, I couldn't help but think: Democrats think; Republicans wink.  Time for change, n'est-ce pas?

Click here to read my post supporting Obama on the Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Here's the latest SNL skit. 

I agree with one of the commenters on the NBC site; the only way this "interview" could've been better is if they'd used Palin's REAL answers.  For the two people reading my blog who are thinking about voting McCain/Palin, please watch the REAL interview and ask yourself: Really?  Is someone so undereducated and inarticulate running for VP?  And then go and vote for Obama, because at least HE can speak in complete sentences.  I predict a landslide in Obama's favor delivered by Katie Couric.  Thanks, Katie, for getting Palin to talk with you and show America just how unqualified she is.  You -- and she -- did a banner job.

Petunia: Mama, why did Hillary get kicked out again?

Mama: You mean, why did Hillary lose the primary election?

Petunia: Yeah... wait, she lost because Obama won, right?

Mama: More or less.

Dash: Boo for Hillary!  Boo for Obama!  Yeah for Buttcrack!

(Obviously, the kid's been talking politics with the Guv again.  Or else he's a Republican already... wait, that's against the law in Texas...)

Here's a link to the Saturday Night Live skit featuring "Sarah Palin" and "Hillary Clinton" -- just go potty first and don't watch it while drinking or you're sure to snarf!